Will I Be the One Who Pays?

Boaz Zaidler –

It is not easy for me to write about October 7th without mixing in politics. And though we saw it coming, it still surprised us.

It surprised me. And I may be the one paying the price.

But that’s how I operate. Packing a bag, kissing my girlfriend goodbye.


Heading north with a pounding heart, conserving energy and staying calm, because it might be a long night.

Not knowing it would be 123 nights.

123 nights.

123 days of not knowing if I’m coming back.

Should I apologize for blaming politicians? But that’s exactly what it is.

Stupidity and corruption come at a cost.

Will I be the one who pays?

I’m angry at the leadership, and I’m angry at my people.

And yet, I stand.

It’s illogical: the rhythm of my life during war time. I leave my girlfriend, my life.


And again.

I head North, yet again, for my team, the soldiers in my unit, my people, an idea I leave behind, as I grab my rifle, pack my bags.


No logic, no reason.

My duty as a soldier.

Image by Moshe Zaidler (father to Boaz)

Instagram @moshezaidler